The last 2 Christmases were not so good to me. Not so good in a way that my experiences were specifically daunting. Year 2011, just two months before Christmas, I saw my company’s performance dwindling down. God knows how I tried to save it but it seems like every action that I do comes to no avail. There were still many things that I tried doing to save it but I kept it secret from my team. I thought, by doing that, I can cushion them from the headache of getting financed by just having them to focus on ramping-up our sales, but unfortunately even that, we missed. The uphill climb was tracked by me alone.

I have learned that being a leader, as someone who is on top of the organizational hierarchy is truly a very lonely place. A lot of people think that it was full of glee for having gregarious environment all around you… but my experience will tell me it is the exact opposite. You make decisions that are general in scope, and yet you could expect it will not be taken lightly. And at the time when you need all the strength and encouragement you can get, you find yourself in the middle of the mire where everyone is ganging up against you. One single life-changing, career-aligning decision will move your subordinates to crucify you many times over even if you know your heart bleeds of the decision you have to make of closing the very company you love. Blame, hate, false accusations and digital effluvia were just a few things I endured. Nonetheless, in all this, I choose to stay mum and reserved.

In the heyday of my success and wealth, I have 100 friends BUT in the valley of my loss and poverty, I would be lucky if I have 5 that remembers. 

Year 2012, I am filled with hope. I thought that things are beginning to turn-around. But every door of opportunity I knock on, were two doors shunning down. I lost a big amount of money from an investment scam. I was literally swimming with debt. I didn’t know what to do. Fear overran me. Depression intends to claim my life. Extreme loneliness and pain were a meal every morning. The feeling was unbelievably crippling and paralyzing.

In my deepest pain, I turned to God and God is good indeed.

This year, 2013, God has restored me. He healed all my pain. He taught me how to forgive myself for the unwise decision I made. He touched my heart to forgive others and give them more love. God opened my eyes that I never lost my talents and abilities. God shook away my pride and replaced it with humility. God renewed my mind. God did not only make me happy but assured me of joy. God remove my doubt and offered me faith.

Then as I begin to realize how my pain made all sense, fear melted away from my sight. Fear transformed into love, courage and forgiveness. I come to know that I really never feared my darkness. I feared my light. Because deep inside I know, that when I set mind unto something, I can turn it into something great – so great that I may not have a ready aptitude and audacity to handle it.

God slowly opened door after doors of opportunity. My career and purpose were now affirmed, my entrepreneurial ideas were sharper than ever and my knowledge in finance like stock market and money market instruments were honed. I met new mentors in different fields. I have learned new things I wish I knew earlier. I met new friends that uplift my worth and affirm my expertise.

I can no longer visit my past with blame and guilt but with authentic gratitude for the many lessons it has counseled me with.

I discovered that the greatest gift I have ever received is LOVE and the greatest gift I have ever given is FORGIVENESS.

This Christmas… the Christmas where the Lord became my fortress, strength and my friend is a Christmas of VICTORY, EMPOWERMENT, FORGIVENESS and LOVE.

This is what this Christmas means to me.

May you have a greatly blessed Christmas too.

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Comments
  1. Gina Samonte says:

    Sir Fren, you are a good person remember that always sir. 😉

  2. Adrian Lupsa says:

    Merry Christmas Jay! Hope you’re having a great time with your family and friends.

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