Archive for the ‘relationship’ Category

 

 

Everyday, we engage into countless of correspondence with the people around us. The primary intention is to get our message across and be understood. As we continue to do this, we develop relationship with others and strengthening that relationship by repeating the process. However, as we seek to be understood we sometimes forget to first understand.

 

While it takes two people to build a relationship, it only requires one to change it – and maybe forever. How often do you get into trouble just by not saying what you really feel? Who really is to be blamed when you were misunderstood when you can just plainly open up and be honest? Quite sadly, because we fear to tarnish our existing relationship with others we sacrifice our ability to create a safer environment to air our feelings. Care enough to communicate how you feel.

 

When we don’t care enough how we feel we cut the authenticity of the communication process by not allowing our listener to participate in a healthy exchange process with greater awareness of the truth, understanding of what really took place and safety to tackle an issue. Hence, we fail to foster a chance for others to change their undesired behavior and explain their perspective. Remember, letting others know how we feel helps others how to carefully react with us.

 

The straight talk process always starts with you. You have to understand your truth and understand why you feel that way. Internal clarification happens when we know how to communicate these feelings positively by transferring that same clarity to our listener. When you feel a colleague unfairly criticizes your work that has offended you; care enough to tell him that his comment did not particularly help you professionally. In that way he will have a chance to avoid repeating it or apologize. Rather than slur the person, focus on the issue and work together to resolve it.

 

Put it simply, you get hurt sometimes because you did not tell others what you want and what you don’t like.

 

A caring straight talk is different from being frank or blunt. Working on resolving issues on “frankness” plain is selfish. What it seeks is to do is to solely air your feelings without considering that of others. It rampages the other end participant’s right towards a healthy communication process.

 

Eric Allenbaugh, Ph.D., in his book “Wake up Calls” suggests a 3-step strategy to get this:

 

1. This is what I experienced.
2. This is what I feel.
3. This is what I want.

 

Using the example about a colleague saying unkind words about your work and employing the strategy above, this is the appropriate way how to give feedback through a caring straight talk.

 

“When you criticized my work in front of my peers yesterday, I felt embarrassed. I want the value of your feedback, and I have learned much from your advice. I want you to continue giving me feedback, but I prefer that critical feedback be given to me privately. That works much better for me while making it easy for you.”

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Karma is not just a mere philosophy, more importantly it is science. I simply define Karma as the resulting effect of the experience you cause. Our soul emanates from our Source which is God and we walk in the road of life by every experience that we encounter. The experience we go through is caused by us, and because it is caused by us, we are responsible for the event it effectuates.

In Einstein’s third law of motion it states that, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It describes one important universal principle that states, if you cause something you will also see an effect. Personally, I view this not just an elaborate path towards Divine correction but also a healing process of the soul.

According to Gary Zukav, “Every action, thought and feeling is motivated by an intention, and that intention is the cause that exists as one with an effect.” If this is the case, then if we participate in the cause, it is not possible for us not to participate in the effect. We are so habituated to the belief that we are responsible for some of the effect of the actions that we do, but not all. My conviction is that, nothing that we cause is exempted from the Universal Law of Karma. Remember, we all partake in the fruit of the seed that we sow. It is therefore judicious for us to be aware of all the intentions that motivate our actions, sort out which of our intentions produce which effects, and to choose the intentions according to the effects that we desire to produce.

When you intend to harm others, you cause an imbalance of energy. Any imbalance in the universe will have to be corrected and because the universe will have to correct it, you will incur for yourself a debt against Karma that you will have to pay through experience. This universal principle is called Karmic Debt. The person who intends ill-wishes and hatreds for others experiences the intention of ill-wishes and hatreds from others. The person who intends love and forgiveness to others also experiences the intention of love and forgiveness from others. The Golden Rule of Karma as a behavioral guide clarifies that, you receive from the world what you give to the world.

If you think you have gotten away from the trespasses you have done to your friend and neighbor, then you have deceived yourself. Because even if the cause has not yet produced its effect, that means the event has not yet come into completion.

There is only one way of paying Karmic Debt. The only way is to go through the experience under the counsel of your impersonal and universal teacher called Karma. When you go through a difficult and daunting experience, you have to look down within yourself if you cause unto others that same morose experience you are going through. Having able to recognize this, you must receive the experience with the willingness to make amends but if you respond to it with nothing but rage and vindictive thoughts, you will only cause yourself another Karmic debt.

Karma acts as a universal teacher rather than a hostile executioner. Therefore, it is not bad at all. It is a way to balance an imbalance energy field; it is way to correct an erroneous past decision; it is a way to find courage to pardon an injury; it is God’s way to right what humans made wrong.

You incur Karmic debt when you become dishonest, when you respond hate to an injury, when you refuse to see and listen to the truth. But if you respond with love in every chance there is, despite of how unfair your situation may seem, you do not only pay your karmic debt but gain Karmic Profit as well. I did not say responding love to hate is easy; as a matter of fact it is a struggle amidst our individual religiosity. That is the reason why most people suffer from lack of peace more than the abundance of blessings.

It is necessary for you to experience that same injury you caused unto others so you will come into enlightenment the repercussions of your muddled actions because every enlightenment have healing moved for that experience. It produces subtle clarity of Divine love, authentic joy, purposeful goal and inner peace. Through this, you learn to understand the significance and meaning of every event in your life.

As you finally understand this truth, learn to pay your Karmic debt by finding an opportunity to love your enemies. Your positive response appoints you to qualify for Karmic Profit in the enlightenment of the process.

Now! Pay your karmic debt and never owe again.

 

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The reason why you have nothing is because you failed to ask.

Just this morning I had a conversation with an older friend that is a resident physician of SSS (Social Security System). She told me that at a send-off party of one of her colleagues who had just retired, she heard one of the most entrancing farewell speeches she had ever heard.

This colleague of hers, who retired at 55 years old, said, “God has blessed me with so many things. As you can see, I lived a very good career and a happily harmonious family with my siblings and parents. But there is only one thing I didn’t have; I did not have a husband and so I never became a mother, never became a wife, never had kids. Just recently, I realized that the reason why God didn’t give it to me is because while being busy with my career, I forgot to ask God to give me a partner.

That became the center of our conversation all throughout and the need to ask something.

Before I go on, please ask yourself.

What is it that you really want? Have you dared to ask for it? Why not?

I think the reason why most people did not have much in life is because they never asked. The case can either be; a.) They don’t think they deserve to ask something or b.) They have no inkling what to ask because they don’t know what they want. Not knowing what you want is one of the saddest things in life, because it means you have no idea what you want to achieve.

Jesus even said, 9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Luke 11:9-10)

This to me is indeed an assurance that if we only learn to ask, God can fill us with the many facets of His infinite blessings.

When we do not know what to ask, we only accept what comes along.

Nobody wants to live a mediocre life. And I don’t think God, being a loving Father would want us to have a life that is less than what He plans for us to have – to live a joyful life.

My challenge is this, if you feel like nothing exceptional is happening in your life right now – gather your most authentic faith and begin to ask. Who knows after asking, God will lead you to an adventure of a lifetime where He can open His floodgates of blessing from heaven down to your coffers.

Ask and you shall receive. 

Dare to Be

When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.

When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.

When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.

When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.

When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.

When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.

When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.

When times are tough, dare to be tougher.

When love hurts you, dare to love again.

When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.

When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.

When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.

When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.

When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.

When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.

Dare to be the best you can –

At all times, Dare to be!

 Steve MaraboliLife, the Truth, and Being Free